Grunkle University

MM4: GRUNKLE UNIVERSITY

Noops-senpai applied to the prestigious Grunkle University last year, but was flatly rejected by the institution. This year, Noops-senpai wants to apply again at getting into the Squeaky League college, but under a new name — "Luigiman." His chances aren't great if he applies again as himself, so he'll be using an alternate identity to help his odds.

He realized soon thereafter, though, that not only was his writing lacking, but his whole application could be potentially identifiable when compared to his application last year!

Help Noops-senpai get into Grunkle University by fabricating his application for him instead!

This Main Match will take place over a single 24-hour round. During these 24 hours, players must submit their Grunkle University application. This application consists of: a spectator recommendation, your extracurriculars, a short essay, and any amount of garnets (if you would like).

Spectator Recommendation: Get a single spectator to recommend your application. The spectator must agree to recommend you. The spectator may not leak. The spectator can be XNimus. A single spectator can recommend multiple players.

Extracurriculars: You must choose 2 of the 7 possible extracurriculars to list on your application. These 7 are:

Basketball — You are a BALLER. You shoot hoops like you're Kobe. Choosing this extracurricular demonstrates that you're a gifted athlete with a great motor and work ethic.

Chessboxing — You are gifted both intellectually and physically, and you like to show it off with this combination sport. Choosing this extracurricular demonstrates that you're as strong as you are smart.

Gardening — You enjoy tending to your FLOWER FIELDS in your free time, organizing them into satisfying patterns. Choosing this extracurricular demonstrates your attention to detail and craftsmanship.

Card Games — You just love to top-deck in your favorite game and rage when the cards are OBVIOUSLY rigged against you. Choosing this extracurricular demonstrates your ability to calculate risk-reward and throw a tantrum.

Mock Trial — You love to be annoying and point out stupid technicalities nobody cares about SHUT UP RYAN. Choosing this extracurricular demonstrates your ability to speak eloquently yet emptily.

Cooking — You love to cook the most exquisite meals for others, with a particular interest in seafood. Choosing this extracurricular demonstrates your ability to cook them fish delicious.

Grunkle Studies — You are a devout believer in "Grunkleology," and you have written many a philosophical text on our benevolent god. Choosing this extracurricular means you're awesome, like this Awesome ORG.

The extracurriculars selected by the least amount of players will be considered more "unique" and will benefit your application more. The extracurriculars selected by the most amount of players will be considered "boring" and will not benefit your application. Choose wisely.

Short Essay: Write a short response to the following prompt: "What is your opinion on Grunkle Squeaky as a Genius player?" 300 words maximum. Feel free to answer any way you want totally.

Garnet Donations: Just like any other university, Grunkle University is always eager to take donations to bolster their small, poor campus. After all, despite being a private institution worth more than a billion dollars receiving more than $2,000,000 in donations per year, the University is most definitely always in need of more money so that the poor professors can actually receive something instead of all the money being funneled into a new football stadium.

You may add any amount of garnets to your application. These will absolutely not be considered in the admissions process because Grunkle University is absolutely an institution with full integrity but obviously we would appreciate all donations.

SUBMISSIONS

You submit just once in this game. Your submission must consist of a spectator recommendation, two extracurriculars, the answer to the short essay prompt, and any garnet donations.

RESULTS

The results to this Main Match will be revealed after reviewing all applications in a holistic, need-blind admissions process that considers all aspects of all applications. To those granted admission, a Token of Life will be granted in the form of the Grunkle University Acceptance Letter. If only one person is granted admission, they will receive two Tokens of Life.

Please keep in mind that the admissions committee is not a machine and is not perfect, but every year we try our best to select the very brightest minds to join us at Grunkle University. A rejection does not mean that your application was bad or flat-out rejected; all applications will go through a rigorous review process of around 2 hours where people will mull over the merits of each applicant's application, background, passions, and interests.

Unless you're the Elimination Candidate, who is the person who submits the WORST application. Then maybe you should reconsider your LIFE BOZO.

Clarification: The spectator does not need to do anything when recommending you, except agree to. Players simply submit a name of a spectator when submitting a "spectator recommendation." Spectators are free to actually submit a blurb to the admissions committee, though.

Clarification: Spectator recommendation is minimum 1.

Clarification: You win the "Grunkle Squeaky win-con" for this MM if you write a really nice application but we ultimately don't accept you. Basically, if you get waitlisted.